layouts for the weekend

Here is Sat. and Sun. layouts for the Load Challenge. It is great to fit a little bit of scrapbooking in every day. Even if it is just the one layout, its something. But I was able to get more than this done over the weekend. I am crusin through this album. Very exciting because in case you can't tell its an older year. I am going to get all caught up this year on older years!
So far I have done 16 pages in 2008.

365 days......and still I count

This is the 365th day that my husband has been gone. And do not say that those 2 weeks he came home count! Well they count, but you can not believe how they fly by. All you try to do is calm down, breathe , and find some joy in them.....and then they are over. Chris texted me this morning. Its already the dreaded January 6th there for him. His text said " Do you know what you were doing 1 year ago" , I said "yep, freezing my ass off , holding you, saying goodbye". I will be thinking about it in the morning when it is January 6th here for me, but I will try and concentrate on the fact that the year is gone! And we made it.
I will talk about the emotions of the night before though. How do you say goodbye? How do you squeeze all the hugs and kisses into a night and know that it will be so long before you can do it again? How do make sure you say all the things that are in your head? How do you memorize a person, and hope it is enough? I don't have answers to these questions, I just know that you do the best you can, and that is will never be enough. There is no way it can ever be enough. So I sit here tonight and let those emotions flood over me, and I realize how far I have come. No one can ever get used to this life. It will never get easier. Being away from the person that makes you whole for years at a time will never be normal. But I do not want another life. Being married to Chris is the best thing that ever happened to me. And I will take what I can get. I will wait for him. I will make the most of the time we are together. I will smother him with hugs,kisses, and "I love you's" whenever I can. No it will never be enough but I will just continue to do the best that I can.

Another day down

Here is my layout for the challenge. I am managing a two page layout a day. Nothing more. But hey thats alot! I will get done with this album. I will. But it is fun to look at how little my son was or how young(and fit) I looked! I took some other pic today too. Nothing worth uploading(I am too tired), but I did take it for the pic a day challenge. All I can say is Thank goodness it is Friday. I even got a vampire fix. Even if Moonlight was a rerun, it was still good. New episode next week! woo hoo! I am off to read some Laurell K Hamilton. I have 3 more to finish the Anita Blake series! I need to slow down because there is not another new one until June(I think) Guess I will have to get back to my Outlander series. It is getting about time to have a Jamie fix!

A few pictures for today

1. Swap Boxes. Out my door!! And one for Chris as well. I am glad to be done with these. I was in 4 jewelry swaps(see examples in Dec. post). I love to jewelry swap! But I need not to do so many at one time. I can get them all done. I just hate the mailing part. I got all the way to the post office today and forgot to put something in them. I will get them done tommorrow! First thing. I hate when something slips my mind. Thats what I get for making myself quit making lists! Lists bogged me down with expectations, and disapointment when I did not finish something. So I quit making them. See where it gets me!

2. My birthday present(Its in August)........ and Christmas......Valentines, St. Patty, Quanza, whatever. I got the best gifts today. They just made me laugh out loud. It is definetly one of my happy thoughts for the week. My good friend Laura sent these tshirts to me. I am a Moonlight fanatic, as is she. If you know the show, if you have ever drooled over Mick the vampire, you will love these shirts. I am sleeping with one...I mean in one tonight!

3. My layout for the day. I thought I would never get this done. I just did not feel well. Its the new diet. Not new, just back on it. I dropped my calorie intake to fast. Ugh, I had a headache and just felt yuck, but I made myself sit down and do the layout, upload it and finish day 3 of the challenge!

Back in the swing of things

I had that familiar feeling today. You know, being overwhelmed. School starts back tommorrow. I had a ton of errands to run, bills to pay, spinning class at 4...............There is never enough hours in the day to get it done. I hope things will be easier when Chris gets back. You really underestimate the extra pair of hands. I was able to get my 2nd layout done for the January Challenge. I am not getting much else done but a 2 page spread a day, but every little bit helps right. This power pallatte(CM-Cabana) is awesome. I am doing the entire year in it. It really helps to limit all the choices and just get it done! Also I took a picture today for the 365 picture a day challenge. Nothing exciting. Just my shoe. Why? Because I need a new pair. See that whole on the top, left side? I proudly gained that hole from all the trail running I have done. I have another , newer pair for the gym, but these are my favorite. I gotta go see if I can find them again. We have one store here that carries athletic shoes. Not a big selection. And I have to buy New Balance. There is no other brand for my foot. So thats my picture for the day. I just said I would take one everyday, not that it would be a piece of art!

Picture a day for the year!

January 1 , 2008

Picture a day for a year seems so overwhelming! But I have been reading blogs of people doing just that. Well I am going to try it and go for as long as I can! I woke up today panicked though because I didnt take one yesterday on the first day of the year. Well except for the layout page. But I did, I did! I took one with my phone at the Cracker Barrell. This is K, playing checkers with Bubba. Our table was right up against it so I enjoyed my coffe and they played, well until Rye got mad because K was not playing right. Oh Well!

How I spent New Year's Eve and New Year's Day

New Years Eve

-Well I am pretty boring here. I spent the last 30 minutes of 2007 watching Rockin New Years on TV, sipping pink champagne. Yes, I opened the bottle early. Chris called me about 10 minutes before the new year and talked to me until the ball dropped. He said that he may not be able to kiss me on the lips but he could kiss me in my ear at midnight. And thats what he did! It had been January 1st for him for about 10 hours. We said our goodnights and I went to bed.

On a side note I kinda had de ja vu watching Fergie on TV. Its what I did the previous year, I went out a week later and bought her album. Love it!

-Today, well I have been lazy! The kids surprised me by cleaning up their room before I got out of bed. I told them that they deserved breakfast at Cracker Barrel for that. So we went and ate Sunrise Samplers. I still have not got used to eating out with the kids by myself this year, but I have really enjoyed the few times we have had breakfast at Cracker Barrell. Another plus to having an apartment in town! After Breakfast we came home and the kids played Wii and played. They were a little irritable today due to being up late last night. I tried to let them stay up but neither one made it. Of course they were up at the same time this morning. Ugh! I played around online and did some scrapbooking. I am doing the January Challenge Class on the Big Picture Website. We have to do a layout a day in January. Here is mine for today, I will try to add these in daily.

Hi/Low of 2007

Lets start this on a positive Note. I challenged myself to think of 5 Highlights of 2007. This was hard for me. It was a rough and challenging year. But here are some things I came up with.

1. Road Trip- January- Now if you were on this trip you would be shaking your head at me for adding this as a Highlight, but it was. For a few reasons. First of all 2 great friends came out and held my hand as the soldiers , my husband included, left for deployment. We all loaded into my little Corolla and drove across the country. It was rough! We fought, disagreed, and generally argued about everything. We got no sleep and ran on nothing but caffeine. But you know what it was a hell of a ride! We stoped where we wanted to stop, we even went to San Antonio (which was a major adventure) and took a picture at each state sign. I would totally do it again. Crazy as it was, I can look back at it now with a big cheesy grin and say yeah, that was fun.

2. Seeing my kids for the first time. The kids left for Alabama with the grandparents on Dec. 26th, So I did not see them until January 10th. That was the longest I had ever gone without my babies. And I loved walking in to that house and seeing my son. It was late but he stayed up and waited for me. Later I crawled in bed with my baby girl and snuggled up to her. She woke up the next morning and could not believe I was there. That was a major hightlight!

3. Being close to Ft. Bragg, okay not exactly close , about 7 hours. But, close enough that I got to see Chris more than I would if I had been in AZ. I got a call from him one day and he asked me to drive up. He snuck off the base for 6 glorious hours and it was heaven. I will not add details but it was the best feeling in the world to see his face after 3 months!

4. North Carolina Trip- A few weeks later we all got to go to Ft. Bragg and see Chris before they flew out to Afghanistan. It was heart wrenching but we made the most of it. We visited the outer banks and explored lighthouses. It was a wonderful time and I truly enjoyed it.

5. Not 24 hours after leaving Chris with the kids crying our eyes out , I got a call from him. Come back he said, I have another week of R and R. Things got postponed and viola we got another 5 days with him. I went by myself this time because the kids were in school. 5 days in a hotel with the man of my dreams ......Highlight!

And I thought of some more!
-Finding out I was stronger than I believed
-Getting a new apt., and moving out of mom and dad's
-Finishing a 10k


So here are the Low points of this year

1. Obviously , Chris leaving. January 6th was an awful day. Standing there for hours saying goodbye. It about killed me. The same goes for each time we said goodbye at Ft. Bragg. 3 different times!

2. Chris called from Bangor , Maine right before his plane left the country. I never felt so alone in that moment. I did not think I would survive it. I think I physically felt him leave the country. Until I heard his voice again, I am not sure I breathed.

3. Communication has sucked this year! It took weeks for email /phones. And it is still not great.

4. Our relationship nearly fell apart. Enough said. This is between him and I , I will just say that neither one of us handled this first deployment well and we pulled away from each other instead of trying to come together. Chris and I have never handled time away from each other well and as the months went on we both fell into alot of depression.

5. You can never go home! It can not be done. Nothing like feeling like a teenager again living with the parents, oh yeah but this time with kids! Ahhhhhh!

6. Last but not least. Realizing that family will not always be there for you. That you can not depend on a whole lot of people in this world. I could expand on this but I am working toward releasing my anger instead of mulling around in it. My main goal is just removing myself from the situations that cause the anger.

New Year's Resolutions

Now that I have finished my 30 before 30 list I am ready to do my New Years Resolution.


1. Continue the running/workout schedule that I have been pretty good about in 2007.
2. Learn to not obsess about things like the house being perfect at all time. I spend to much time doing unimportant things instead of the things I enjoy(you following me?)
3. Work on my 30 before 30 list. This kinda goes without saying but there are specific things I want to cross off in 2008. School, Fitness Certification, some of the trips are things that need to be taken care of in 08!
4. Find a babysitter and begin regular dates with Chris. Yes this was also listed before but needs to be repeated. The biggest part of this is finding a babysitter. Something I have always found very difficult. Could this mean I need to be more involved? Yes!
5. Get a new Car! I have payed off this one, drove it and drove it some more. I want a new one! Like an XTerra!
6. Do not light up!- That means do not slip back into smoking. Its not worth it, I have come to far!
7. Blog more. I want to do more creative writing, and push myself. I enjoy it and do not understand why I have such trouble doing it. I am going to keep a list of ideas and topics to inspire me in writing.
8. The little things. I want to be aware of them. Write them down. Journal them. My kids do special things all the time, my family has special moments. I want to remember them!
9. Continue paying off my debt. I am almost there and I love the feeling. If I can keep with it, This could be done by May!
10. Cook-Sounds simple, but I have let myself believe it is a chore and I do not enjoy it. I used to enjoy it. I want to find away to get back to it.

30 Things before I turn 30

Now I have been thinking about this list for a long time. I don't feel like I have enough time to get it all done, but maybe just writing out the goals will help me work towards them. So with only 20 months to go before I turn 30, here is my list. I hope to cross each one off, write about it here, and if I am not able to get something done I hope to have a plan in place to help me achieve it as soon as possible. Oh and these are in no particular order, just how they came out of my head.

1. Go abroad-There are plans for this in fall of 08. DH and I are planning a trip to Italy!
2. Learn the basics for said country-again, I have set the wheels in motion for this, but now its time to actually read the books and listen to the tapes.
3. Go back to school and work on finishing up my general studies- I am shooting for Fall here.
4. Catch up on all things scrapbooking-This means all previous years, specialty albums, childhood albums, etc. I want to be working on current years only. I am so tired of the worry that these other things will never get done.
5. Continue my running-This sounds like more of a new years resolution, but really it should be a life long decision to remain active and in shape.
6. Run a marathon- This is my goal, I have run a 10k, I want to do a 1/2 in 2008, and the plan is to do the AZ Rock in Roll Marathon in January 2009.
7. Work on group fitness certification-This is seperate from going back to school. This is a field certification that can be obtained with a little studying and testing. Then I can go and teach in a gym. I would like to do group fitness/spinning/possibly yoga
8. Take my husband to Half Moon Bay, CA- He has never seen this beautiful place and I wish to take him there and drive down Hwy 1, hopefully in the fall. Stop at the little pumpkin festivals along the way, taking our time and enjoying all that this route has to offer.
9. Go to San Franciso-This could technically be done on the same trip as Half Moon Bay, but who knows, I love California so much I may want to break up the trips.
10. Visit Big Sky Country- Maybe even ski! We will see. I have a friend who lives up there and so does Chris. So It would be great to go to this area that I have never seen and be around friends as well.
11. Buy a mountain Bike- There are alot of races and fun things to explore if I could get into this hobby.
12. Go Kayacking- I live in AZ for goodness sake, there is so much to see and explore. By water, land or air!
13. Learn what it takes to be the house that is the kid friendly house-You know what I mean, I want the kids and their friends to want to be at my house. There are multiple reasons for this. For one, I am always in contact with my kids and know what they are into, and I wish to build a relationship with my kids that is close and open.
14. Get a dog- I do not have any pets, my cat is now living with my parents(long story) but I wish to have a dog. I want a small one, Chris a big one. So we are comprimising and getting a small dog. LOL. Actually I told him that when we knew his schedule better and would stay in a house longer than a few months then yes he could get a bigger dog. But for now , I have my name on the list for a morkie(Maltese/Yorkie).
15. Set up a fish tank..........again. Chris wants salt water which I am okay with, but here again....we need to stay in one place for awhile!
16. Do a fun/run/walk/ with the kids for a good cause
17. Sky Dive- Not by myself. No thanks, with someone attached to me and I think Chris will join
18. Continue paying off Debt- including student loans
19. Spend a anniversary together with my husband-This has not happened for us in 6 years! We have only been married 7!
20. Get into the habit of a girls night out-Seriously Laura, when I get home, seriously!!! I miss you--Oh and side note to this, we are going to get tickets to see Wicked and hopefully Mama Mia again!
21. Go on regular dates with my husband- No we have never done this. I need a babysitter!
22. Get in the car and drive somewhere for the weekend-no plans, no direction, just go!
23. Attend a SS retreat
24. Better yet, host a SS retreat-There is a ton of us in AZ and CA....its doable!
25. See Jimmy Buffett in concert....again-Now I know technically I have already done this..3 times but it just gets better and better and I hope in the next 2 years I can do it again!
26.Wine taste in California- I would love to go and stay at a vineyard and do this!
27. Ride a motorcycle- Yes I have done this, but it has been a really long time. Chris wants one so maybe it will be his I am riding!
28. Get another tattoo-I want one on the wrist or neck and I want it to be celtic in design with Chris name entwined in it.
29. Go back to Mexico- Hopefully with someone that knows it better!- Ivan and Krysten I am counting on you guys for this. I would love to see all those things I saw pictures of!
30. Vegas Baby!-- for more than 24 hours. This is the key factor. I got no sleep last time because we tried to squeeze it all in in such a short time frame. Also included in this trip is a shocking show(more shocking than Wayne Newton!) Chris and I are thinking of that Vampire Kiss show....I wonder if it is still playing.

Okay , there they are! Here is to crossing these off !

More charms I have been working on

These are all my charms I have been working on for different jewelry swaps. I really wanted to branch out and start really altering things. I am quite proud of the bingo charm. The others were more simple and had set themes. Two of these charms are wine charms. I am excited to be doing a swap like this. Mainly because I am always in need of these little wine charms. The charm with the shells is for a Margarita swap. I love this charm but I may think twice before working with shells again!

Chris' Christmas Greeting

I am adding it here. I wanted to take it off myspace but needed to save it somewhere. I was so lucky to find these soldier greetings online because there was no way I would see it on the tv. Chris cracks me up in this video , he was so nervous. But I am very lucky to have it.

Info about me(Thanks Krysten)

Four Things You May or May Not Know About Me


Four jobs I have had in my life:

1.Store Manager at Movie Gallery in Alabama
2. Waitress- Macoroni Grill in Montgomery, AL
3. 1-800-Fly(something), booking flights -Tampa, FL
4. Education Coordinator for Joanns Fabric Store-Phoenix, AZ

Four movies I would watch over and over:

1. Pride and Prejudice(does not matter which version)
2. Office Space
3. Christmas VAcation (it does not have to be Christmas)
4. Ella Enchanted

Four places I have lived:

1. Tampa, FL
2. Phoenix, AZ
3. Prescott, AZ
4. Troy, AL

Four TV Shows that I watch:

1. Gray's Anatomy
2. Moonlight
3. Blood Ties
4. American Idol

Four places I have been:

1. Outer BAnks, NC
2. Casa de Fruta, Half moon Bay, CA
3. Rocky Point , Mexico
4. Treasure Island, FL

People who email me regularly:

1. Chris
2. Laura
3. Tavia
4. Kylene


Four of my favorite foods:

1. pecan divinity
2. grilled zucchinni marinated in queen creek olive oil
3. R&R pizza with Ranch!(right laura)
4. Coffee....okay technically not food, but Love, Love, Love coffee

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. Arizona
2. California
3. the beach
4. With Chris.....I don't care where!



Things I am looking forward to this year
1. Chris coming home from deployment
2. Moving home to Arizona
3. Going to Italy in November
4. Going to Vegas with Chris

Passing the time

One thing I have been doing to pass the time is embarking on a new hobby! I have gotten into the world of jewelry charm swapping. Don't know what this is, just Google. It is awesome. I was involved in the very first one done on Scrapshare and now have 4 more going! The first one is a Christmas Charm Bracelet. 25 unique charms made by ladies on SS. I can't wait to get working on my others. They are due after the 1st of the year. This time I even doing wine charms. Now I have never been able to get myself involved in swapping online(scrapbooking) but this....well I am hooked. And hey, its makes those days go by fast!

99 Bottles of Beer on the wall .....I mean until DH comes home!

I just took the 100 day tag off of our "Countdown until Daddy comes home" wall hanging. I can't believe what an impact it had on me. I have been so BAH HUMBUG this entire holiday season. I still have a week and a half to go. I have always loved Christmas, but it holds nothing for me this year. I just want it to come and go. My daugter turns 4 on Christmas Eve and my son recently turned 7. Where did this year go. I think back on it and it all feels so surreal. Like I watching a movie. I don't know how my life will be when he returns but I hope I can wake up from this way of living. I don't want everything to pass by and not live each day the way I should. I know I have to find away to exist when he is gone. It not going to be the last time I have to endure something like this. I am glad that I can now see a light at the end of this tunnel. Double Digits. He will be here before I know it. I can not wait to have our family back together.

My 10 year class reunion if you could call it that! (the reason why the previous post was so appropriate!)

This weekend was the weekend I had anticipated for a while now. I have no idea why. Why was I so concerned over what I looked like, or who showed up. I was not alone. I went with a couple girlfriends and we had a decent time, mostly together. We all had the same worries. You should have seen us getting out of the car. They had a table set up with name tags and our senior pic. Yeah! I did not RSVP so I did not have one! Woohoo!(My senior pic was horrible!) We walk in and there was maybe 25 classmates there. We all kind of stood around not wanting to make the first move. Some girls started walking around. These girls were the ones that never spoke a day in their high school career to me. " We are walking around breaking up the little clicks so we all can get to know each other" Insert my mouth dropping here! I thought why did they not do that 10 years ago. Well we all took turns answering the " what have you been doing for 10 years" question. Thank God for wine! Well soon most everyone had dissapeared and went in the house to watch the football game. Yes you read that right. The reunion was at a lakehouse about 45 minutes from where we graduated. It was set up nice with a lighted tent right on the water. There was great food, a radio for entertainment( I know laughing now). Those that stayed out at the tent seem to have a decent time. About 9:30 pm the game ended and those that were inside came out and started cleaning up our plates and drinks and pulled up the table cloths. " Oh, so and so is leaving and these are her table cloths." It was so tacky. Some people never change. Not that I expected them to. Well what was left of the group, gathered around the fire and had a great time catching up. That was the best part. I am glad I went. I am glad it over though. I am glad that I was one of the ones that showed despite how I felt about it. There were so many (that we knew) that came up with such lame excuses for not being there. It was just fear. Well there was nothing to fear and nothing to be worried about. My motto lately fits so appropriately here: " In the end,so much of it does not seem to matter" Here is a pic of the georgeous girls I went with this weekend! I am the blonde.

(Blog Challenge) Senior Moments~ This is so appropriate!

Our assignment is to reach back to our senior year (1997) and answer the following questions.


1. Who was your best friend? Liz, Stacey

2. Did you play any sports? Nope

3. What kind of car did you drive? I mostly just rode with friends. I did sometimes use my parents but I did not have my own car.

4. It’s Friday night. Where were you? Hanging out with friends. Occsionally we would go to football games.

5. Were you a party animal? uh, yes!

6. Were you considered a flirt? I doubt it

7. Were you in the band, orchestra or choir? chorus

8. Were you a nerd? no, I just kinda blended in, I think

9. Were you ever suspended or expelled? no.

10. Can you sing the fight song? no

11. Who was your favorite teacher? 1st period English-Mrs. Daniels. She totally ignored that we were always late and came in with a cloud of smoke!

12. What was your school mascot? Raiders

13. Did you go to the Prom? Yes, it sucked

14. If you could go back, would you? No way!

15. What do you remember most about graduation? That is was not memorable!

16. Where were you on Senior Skip Day? I do not remember

17. Did you have a job your senior year? yes, Paradise Video

18. Where did you go most often for lunch? The cafeteria

19. Have you gained weight since then? No, I think I look better!

20. What did you do after high school? spent a year without direction, went to Troy State, met my husband, moved to FL after he graduated, got married, had a son.

In his absence.

You know the little things you don't really pay attention to when someone is always there. Well, as the months go by I am beginning to notice them, or is it forget? Last night I turned out my light(it was really late) my daughter came in and crawled in bed with me. She was so warm, and she curled up right against my back. Back to back we slept. I don't mind her sleeping with me, sometimes it helps. Chris is one of the guys he likes to curl around me and hold me as tight as possible for the whole of the night. Usually I wake up in a sweat and feeling a little confined. Now don't get me wrong , I love to sleep with his arms around me, but you know how warm men tend to be when they sleep! Although I would gladly suffer through the sauna to feel it again. It has been so long. He has been gone now 7 months. Yes we saw him in March, but time was so short and limited. I will not feel those arms wrapped around me for another 5 months. I really underestimated the value of human touch. Yes my kids hug me and crawl in bed with me, and snuggle, but it is not the same as him. I miss him. Last night as my daughter snuggled back to back with me, I closed my eyes, pushed the tears back, and tried to remember.

2 Things

JUST TWO THINGS
thought I would add this here since I have not posted in awhile. Thanks to Basketlady on Scrapshare!


Two names you go by:

1. Mom
2. Bry

Two things you are wearing right now:

1. a black shirt
2. capris

Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship:

1. respect
2. laughter/fun

Two things you like to do:

1. go out with friends
2. scrapbook

Two things you want really bad right now:
1. DH!
2. nap

Two things you did last night:

1. surfed internet
2. read

Two things you ate today:

1. hot wings
2. banana chips

Two people you last talked to:

1. a friend
2. DD

Two things you're doing tomorrow:

1. running
2. ?

Two longest car rides:

1. AL-AZ
2. vice versa

Two favorite holidays:

1. Christmas
2. halloween

Two favorite beverages:

1. rum and fresca
2. water

Two things about me that you may not have known:

1. I have my tongue peirced
2. I love sailboats/sailing

Two jobs I have had in my life:

1. lifeguard
2. waitress

Two Movies I would watch over and over:

1. Pride and Prejudice
2. Christmas Vacation

Places I have lived:

1. Alabama
2. Arizona

Two of my favorite foods:

1. any and all seafood
2. Loaded baked Potatoe(preferably from Big Bob Gibsons!)

trying to reason with the 6th month mark

Today is 6 months ago. It was January 6th when Chris got on that plane and headed to Ft. Bragg. Yes, I know I got to see him for a brief time in March. But it is not the same as being together, as a family, at home. It is hard to believe that so much time has passed and it still seems like so much is left to endure. 9 more months to be exact. I will get him for 2 short weeks in January. But even that is 7 more months away. I am so down tonight. I have been looking at the pictures of that morning he left, with a little help from some white zinfandel. Just looking at those pictures and the expressions on our faces is heartbreaking. I remember thinking "this is not happening". Can I just close my eyes and wish it all away. It was like watching a movie but I was the main character. Every part of me physically hurt and it still does. Sometimes I think if I can stay busy enough the emotions and feelings will not catch up to me. I know that it can not be stopped. I just want him home. I want to be near him. I don't want to feel this deep void. The truth is there is nothing I can do to escape it. He will stay gone no matter how I feel, no matter how many activities I put in my dayplanner, no matter what. The only thing that can be done is to endure and I guess I will.