I am changing my name....

Okay, just a few things here.  Its 8am....I am ill as a hornet.  I had no sleep. I am changing my name from mom to to to......not sure.  Here is the scenario. 1am.....there is someone freaking knocking on my door.  Which I was already awake for anyway because I had to pee....because my bladder holds only small amounts at a time.  J apparently opens the door and yells Bry.....Rye needs you.  I think to myself in the bathroom "why cant men handle middle of the night disturbances".....whatever.  What Rye needed was for me to help him clean up throw up that was all over the kitchen and some in the bathroom and hallway......I got a little ill.  I don't mean to.....but if you feel bad enough to walk into the kitchen to get water why not walk to the bathroom and just puke.  And apparently my mommy filter was off at 1am and I said as much to him.  I believe my exact words were....

"I oughta beat you silly for walking in here and throwing up all over..."

 Like any man would he said "well I made it back to the bathroom and got most of it in the toilet".

 I told him that mopping was exactly what I wanted to do in the middle of the night.

  Rye is pretty passive and knows me well so he just takes it in stride and heads back to bed.

DON"T MIND ME.......I WILL JUST FINISH UP HERE CLEANING UP YOUR PUKE!......YOU KNOW THE PUKE THAT YOU ASKED ME TO GET UP AND HELP YOU WITH....

men....

AND THEN.......

Little Princess wakes up. 

No God, PUH -LEASE....if she wakes up I will never get back to sleep!

But here comes here goldilocks bouncing down the hallway......

"HEY MOM , THE TOOTHFAIRY DID NOT COME"

She completely ignores the fact that I am on hands and knees scrubbing.....

"Well princess the toothfairy works all night and its only  1am ....so maybe she just has not made it here yet."

This satisfies princess for a few and I finish cleaning.

I go back to bed, crawl in and have J(the bigger kid) exclaim that he is sick.....

"Well it was not dinner because I am not throwing up, Princess is not throwing up, and H has slept through it all" I am sorry if the big kid is sick because he can take care of himself.....I am exhausted. 

SIDENOTE: Why do men get sick and revert into complete infant hood? I can't stand it and would rather ignore this behavior.

But NO!

Princess bursts in and exclaims that someone was knocking on her door......(maybe it was the toothfairy)

and crawls in bed with us.  This is when J decides to place his body in a complete arch....

I am squished and I absolutely can not take this.  Princess Goldilocks is on my arm and J is taking up 3/4 th of the bed....."Can you scoot over babe"  I ask as nicely as I can through clenched teeth......"Well I GUESS BUT I AM ON THE EDGE!" J says......

Are you F***ing kidding me.... I have had enough!

I hold on to princess for a little longer then carry her to bed........okay king of throwups bed.  I don't care I want sleep and I am pretty sure he threw up from the  8lbs of food he ingested after school  and not my cooking. 
She begins to wail........

to which I swiftly turn around and yell

"IF ANYONE GETS UP OR THROWS UP I AM CALLING YOUR DAD AND WE ARE CHANGING PLANS FOR FRIDAY!!!"

The plans being that they are leaving out of town this morning so they were not going to school.  I figured I could threaten them with school .....not that I could have changed the plans for their dad to pick them up at this point now.  Whatever.....the threat works.

I stomped to the bedroom....got toothfairy money, walked back to Princess' room (where she was not sleeping), took the loot, chucked the coin , and stomped back to my room.  

I will be damned if the toothfairy forgets again....and I don't really care if she gets caught!  By the way its now 3:45 am............

NO!

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alarm must have went off.....and the oh so sick big kid must have went to work without saying goodbye to me.

hmpf....

Oh well.....

I am leaving today for a roadtrip with Misti. 

Yeah Roadtrip.....

Well a roadtrip with semi-plans

St. Patty's day weekend  in New Orleans.

K.  gotta go.  love ya. bye bye.......