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Monday, April 19, 2010

P is for permission....

It is very hard to give oneself permission. Permission to have a day off, an easy day, or a skipping of a workout.  It for me at least and  I think it is for many women and mothers.  Today I woke up after only a few hours  of sleep and I was just non functional.  Exhausted.  It was a busy...yet fun weekend.  With a total of 9 hours asleep, I did not greet Monday very well.  Yes the lack of sleep was my own doing(well at least Sat).  Except for last night.  I could not rest to save my life.  It was one of those nights where I laid awake, tossing and turning....envious of the slumber that J was getting beside me.  So this morning I slept.  I took the kids to school and when I returned I fell into bed until 11.  This is something I rarely do and I always feel guilty when it does happen.  I awoke....feeling groggy and not rested still but with a mountain of laundry to climb, dishes to be washed and groceries to be bought I had to get my butt in gear.  I accomplished my tasks but on the inside I was scolding myself.  I had not worked out and not finished any school work. I hate this internal battle that I have on most days.  Its probably a little obsessive compulsive behavior.  The truth is I never give myself permission to let up and most days I expect nothing more than being Superwoman.  None of us are and it is okay if everything does not get finished.  It is okay if there is a dish left in the sink or the kids bedrooms stay a pig sty on days like this.  Lets face it, the world does not come to an end.  It is okay to give ourselves permission to take the day off.  Its okay to take the Summer off from school, something I am trying to convince myself of now.  Its okay I did not get insane today with a workout.  I will not give myself permission to slack tomorrow....but today I am not sure I would make it through. 

So tell me.......is it just me?



3 comments:

Eclipsed said...

It's definitely not just you. I do this to myself all the time. I expect myself to accomplish things that I would never expect anyone else to do. And I just keep telling myself that once it's all done I can relax, the problem is it's never finished. Because the hamper is always filling up and the pantry is always emptying and the blog needs updating and on and on and on. I think you're right, we need to allow ourselves some down time.

Grammy said...

Actually, I give myself permission every once in a while to slack off. I rest when I want to, or need to, and then I feel like doing what has to be done. And if not, there is usually tomorrow. So, take a word of advice from an old lady, rest when you can, and take time to dance.
Ruby

Shellie0621 said...

It's not just you...I think all Mom's feel this way at some point in their life. Don't be so hard on yourself...you deserve to slack off every now and then.