Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Pour your heart out Wednesday

So usually when I am feeling something(anger, frustration, hurt)........I ignore, redirect, change the subject....etc.  Avoidance.  I am good at it and I understand that this is not always the best way to deal with life.  Someone said to me recently that my way of dealing is to run away.  Is that true?  Yes. Actually it is.  Get in a fight......go for a drive.  Argue before bedtime.....sleep on the couch.  Bigger fight or disagreement....get away for the weekend.  Something majorly catastropic......I will move.  I am not kidding.  It is true that I have been known to just fly by the seat of my pants and move cross country at the drop of a hat.  I am spontaneous and you never know if I will pick the kids up on a Friday from school and head to the beach or whatever. It is how I deal.  If I can not figure things out, find a solution, or my head and chest feel like they are caving in.....Get out and do it now before guilt sets in and my mind changes. 

So when someone says to me...." You run away from everything" wings get clipped a little.  I was totally speechless for one moment and in the next I said " You are right.....I do run away from everything."  but you know what......I am okay with that.  I am okay with who I am.  Sometimes distance and time give you answers.  Sometimes they just heal.  Sometimes you get so wrapped up in an adventure you can just forgive and forget.  Sometimes you find the tools and the strength to go back and take care of it.  Sometimes you figure out exactly what you want and need. 

I don't need a map of where I am going and I don't need to ask your permission to go.  I am not scared of being alone.  I will find my answers and when I do.....I will let you know, but know this.......".I never did see a wild thing feel sorry for itself"

and in case you needed to be reminded....nobody says it better than J.B.

I'm a piece of work, I'm iron and lace

I'm shy, I'm right up in your face

I'm all dumbfounded, stubborn as an ass

Sharp as an arrow in a pile of glass.

I'm a sweetheart, genius, reckless jerk.

Lord, have mercy, I'm a piece of work.

Well the Lord made me on a long thin limb

Made sure I'd remeber him or her

In the middle of a long dark night

Creation crazy, death-sheet white

Made in the image of a lion shocked lamb

I am who the hell I am

Even better, bad to worse,

Down to the letter, I'm a piece of work.

I'm a piece of work I'm an angels fiend

Bathed in lavender and gasoline

Scared brave, shallow in an ink black well

Lightly browned in the fires of hell

Wicked, holy, full on fake

Best known for my big mistake

I'm zen wise, peaceful, gone berserk

Good God almighty, What a piece of work.

I'm a dreadful sight, I just don't care

Spent all morning pull out my hair

Woke at dawn with a crazy spin

I was half the day trying to glue back in

Mother, bloody mary, please

Wipe that smile right off your knees

I'm the CEO of the mailroom clerks

Lord have mercy, I'm a piece of work.

I'm a piece of work, I'm a love sick boy

Cloth cap, caviar, and corduroy

All over the map, justa lost in space

With a filthy mind and a angel's face

Heels up, head down, straight on through

Watch out woman, I'm a get to you

I'm a gladiator with a mind to irk

I'm a see you later, I'm a piece of work.


The Alliterative Allomorph said...

Looking forward to see what you come up with tomorrow :)

Aphrodite's Mortal Friend (ME) said...

More women should have the cofidence as you!! Loved it!

Shell said...

I sometimes run, too. To avoid conflict, to stop myself from saying something I'll later regret, or to pretend that it didn't happen.

Thanks for linking up!

Life Without Pink said...

I hate conflict and always run! I am trying to stand up for myself more, I need your confidence!

Beth said...

Hi Bry! New follower who found you through Blogging A to Z. :)