Quiet evening .....

I find myself having an unplanned quiet evening at home tonight.  J has not made it in....yet....(ignoring voice in my head that is saying..."its 7:15, where the hell is he?") and the kids have gone to church.  So I made dinner.....Porkchops, rice, salad.....and no one to eat with.  Kinda makes me not hungry as well.

I did remember I had some pictures to share.  Rye had an eye doctor apt. yesterday and we were in Meridian, MS.....which is not close to where we live....but ahhhh.....insurance.  We  were downtown and we noticed that on every block there was carousel horses, each decorated differently.  Rye and I drove around taking a few pics(and trying to maneuver one way streets).  These were the ones we could get....without causing a wreck.

Definetly my favorite!

There were tons more but like I said....I did not want to cause a wreck!

I asked my friend Ky....what they were all about because interestingly enough......Selma, AL has their downtown covered in giant butterflies.  Each one different.  Which I have yet to take pictures of but I will get over that way eventually.  Well Ky told me it is because of the giant carousel that is in Meridian.  Pretty cool right.  So I wonder what is up with the butterflies in Selma? 

Well I did so more research and there are over 50 around town in a project called Around Town Carousels Abound and they are sponsored by business and proceeds go to the benefit the Hope Villiage For Children.  Pretty great I think! 

It is always cool to explore new cities and find out what is going on there. I was simply taking pictures and I got to learn so much more.   I also here that this giant Carousel is a great place for birthday parties.

Here is a link to this totally awesome Carousel that I can not wait to visit!

Dentzel Carousel

Oh and this is way off the subject but I had to take a picture of this cool old sign I saw in downtown.

Pour your heart out Wednesday

So usually when I am feeling something(anger, frustration, hurt)........I ignore, redirect, change the subject....etc.  Avoidance.  I am good at it and I understand that this is not always the best way to deal with life.  Someone said to me recently that my way of dealing is to run away.  Is that true?  Yes. Actually it is.  Get in a fight......go for a drive.  Argue before bedtime.....sleep on the couch.  Bigger fight or disagreement....get away for the weekend.  Something majorly catastropic......I will move.  I am not kidding.  It is true that I have been known to just fly by the seat of my pants and move cross country at the drop of a hat.  I am spontaneous and you never know if I will pick the kids up on a Friday from school and head to the beach or whatever. It is how I deal.  If I can not figure things out, find a solution, or my head and chest feel like they are caving in.....Get out and do it now before guilt sets in and my mind changes. 

So when someone says to me...." You run away from everything".....my wings get clipped a little.  I was totally speechless for one moment and in the next I said " You are right.....I do run away from everything."  but you know what......I am okay with that.  I am okay with who I am.  Sometimes distance and time give you answers.  Sometimes they just heal.  Sometimes you get so wrapped up in an adventure you can just forgive and forget.  Sometimes you find the tools and the strength to go back and take care of it.  Sometimes you figure out exactly what you want and need. 

I don't need a map of where I am going and I don't need to ask your permission to go.  I am not scared of being alone.  I will find my answers and when I do.....I will let you know, but know this.......".I never did see a wild thing feel sorry for itself"

and in case you needed to be reminded....nobody says it better than J.B.



I'm a piece of work, I'm iron and lace


I'm shy, I'm right up in your face

I'm all dumbfounded, stubborn as an ass

Sharp as an arrow in a pile of glass.

I'm a sweetheart, genius, reckless jerk.

Lord, have mercy, I'm a piece of work.



Well the Lord made me on a long thin limb

Made sure I'd remeber him or her

In the middle of a long dark night

Creation crazy, death-sheet white

Made in the image of a lion shocked lamb

I am who the hell I am

Even better, bad to worse,

Down to the letter, I'm a piece of work.



I'm a piece of work I'm an angels fiend

Bathed in lavender and gasoline

Scared brave, shallow in an ink black well

Lightly browned in the fires of hell

Wicked, holy, full on fake

Best known for my big mistake

I'm zen wise, peaceful, gone berserk

Good God almighty, What a piece of work.



I'm a dreadful sight, I just don't care

Spent all morning pull out my hair

Woke at dawn with a crazy spin

I was half the day trying to glue back in

Mother, bloody mary, please

Wipe that smile right off your knees

I'm the CEO of the mailroom clerks

Lord have mercy, I'm a piece of work.



I'm a piece of work, I'm a love sick boy

Cloth cap, caviar, and corduroy

All over the map, justa lost in space

With a filthy mind and a angel's face

Heels up, head down, straight on through

Watch out woman, I'm a get to you

I'm a gladiator with a mind to irk

I'm a see you later, I'm a piece of work.

Weekend Fun

We had a busy weekend....

So here is pictures

Plus commentary

My girl.....sitting like a frog.  She gets that from me.  In fact......there is no picture but I was sitting like that  beside J fishing and he started laughing......I said "What?"  He said...."You remember those budweiser commercials with the frogs?" Okay...Yeah......"Well thats what you remind me of when you sit like that".....Thanks.  What?

Things were quiet in the beginning

2 Frogs

Then J caught a fish......

Rye had no luck

Hou got 3.......and do you see the fish pressed up against his shirt........later he would swear to me the shirt was clean and he could wear it to the bday dinner.  uh?

The fish........This is the point at which R.....tender heart begins getting upset and why were we not throwing them back......He had tears later......but not that anyone but mama saw. 

It was a relaxing day

Then we had a big family get together at J's grandpa's house to celebrate H's 11th bday.......

I made J put candles on it.  He said that they do not do candles.....I said "why?" J said "because they slobber on the cake when they blow them out." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So then we sat around and took pictures

and watched the boys play hoops

and Kendal ate her lollipop

Then Cried because she had no one to play with!

So we made her laugh by taking pictures of her tooey feet.....Black toes from the trampoline

Took more pictures.....because he hates it!

Shot my 22.....but then J got out the 45 ......and I did better with that.....Watch out Lara Croft

What I really like is how you see that my son is holding a soccer ball.....Use what works.

Then J decided to teach the boys the granny toss..........but he missed.  So we played HORSE or DOG.......

and I lost but.....I can at least laugh about it. 

Good Weekend. 

Eggs.....Easter eggs

Its not the same anymore.  I used to like it.  The kids used to like it.  Now they are just mildly amused and then out the door.  I boiled the eggs.  I never can remember if you add the eggs to boiling water or put the eggs in the cold water then bring to boil. Anyone?  I set up all the bowls of dye, and got out all the tubes of tye dye.  They sat down, I took a few pictures, then the excitement wore off and they were out the door.  This made me a little sad.  I remember when we would sit around and talk and dye eggs.......this year it seemed like a race.  Well not necessarily K.K.  she liked taking her time.  Here is our results......

K. is very precise with her colors

this tye dye thing....is a mess.  The kids were complaining that they had to go to school today with dyed hands.  Well I got to go to the grocery store today with dyed hands.

One of those parent moments

You know we all have them. That beautiful moment that makes you realize you are a mom, the moment that something you swore you would never say comes out of your mouth, those moments you couldn't even make up if you tried? Well, let's share shall we? Those moments in which we are pulling our hair out, trying not to cry, laugh, or scream. Moments we think we would never see, and moments we think we will never laugh at? Let it out ladies!





Here is the scene......
Its been a long day of birthday celebrating for the 11 year old
He got the movie The Blind Side
Great- lets all sit down and watch tonight!
2 boys (ages 9 and 11) are in the floor, K(6) is on the couch, and J is in the recliner.
Me , I am standing in the kitchen
We are all watching
Things are great......then Tim and Sandra find themselves in bed.
No big deal....there is nothing happening right?
Then Tim roles on top of Sandra and it begins.....
A mad chorus from the boys.....Yuck, Gross....disgusting...
The 11 year old says "What if he like spits in her face"
The 9 year old says " I know dude....like what if she were to sneeze right now!"

the comments continue....
I am beat read and laughing (not so quietly)
I look over to the recliner and J has both hands and arms up in front of his face and he is shaking from laughing so hard (you know so hard it was silent)
Tears running down face we laughed so hard....
the scene passed.....and



 

and the messed up thing was

we didnt say a word....

we just sat there and laughed ......J and I looking at each other across the living room....turning beat red!

Thank god the scene was short....

I believe the moment is soon coming for "the talk"......

Maybe they already know.....Is there a handbook for this?

Cubs......

Its not something I talk about often.
Its a little crazy
My obsession
with Baseball yes

but the Cubs

Be still my heart.

and don't stand to close to me because I could possibly be kissing the tv
or
cussing someone out at any moment.....

and guess what

I have tickets
great tickets
Opening Day
Turner Field
Braves .......that I don't really care for....its not why I am going
vs.
Cubs

Don't get me wrong , Braves are number 2.....but there really is no number 2.
Its just unfair
I need to be truthful

Its the Cubs

I love them
and so .....I needed to check out the roster
so here you go.
I hate baseball trades!




60 Mitch Atkins

64 Justin Berg

33 Esmailin Caridad

46 Ryan Dempster .....Okay, really glad dude is back...

66 Rafael Dolis

48 John Gaub

32 Tom Gorzelanny

43 John Grabow

34 Jeff Gray

37 Angel Guzman

30 Ted Lilly ....okay yeah

49 Carlos Marmol Thank goodness.....not sure how you will do as a closer but....
45 Sean Marshall .....ok

62 Marcos Mateo

58 Blake Parker

54 David Patton

76 James Russell

29 Jeff Samardzija

52 Carlos Silva .....I need to do research....you seem very important what wth that salary and all

44 Jeff Stevens 

36 Randy Wells 

38 Carlos Zambrano......Kisses...xoxox....wink(shhh....we will not tell anyone)........

Catchers



72 Welington Castillo

55 Koyie Hill

75 Chris Robinson (Hey look Chris! Did you know you made the Roster?).....sorry you would not get that unless of course you are Chris
18 Geovany Soto ...........Well Thank god

Infielders



28 Jeff Baker

17 Mike Fontenot .....Yeah....good little short dude

6 Micah Hoffpauir

25 Derrek Lee .....You are my heart....I just heart you

15 Kevin Millar

16 Aramis Ramirez.......Never mind. forget Carlos......Call me later, xoxoxo!

2 Ryan Theriot......Now Lou.....Why you got to piss me off and bring this ass of a player back.  I don't like yelling at you.  And you know you get yelled at alot.  Stop dropping the fucking ball and I would not yell so much.  Okay, deal?  You don't make stupid mistakes and I will not yell at you. 

9 Chad Tracy.....Well hello from AZ!  I am so happy you have decided to join us.  We know each other well. Very Well.....I know all about you.  You know that little team in AZ......What was is... Snakes????? Yes, well I studied your work there.  Be good  Or we will have to send you back to the BOB

Outfielders


63 James Adduci

24 Marlon Byrd

21 Tyler Colvin

1 Kosuke Fukudome ....You mean Kosuke Fuck It all UP.   Really, I don't get it.  Why are you here again?  I am sorry, I just can't be nice.

27 Sam Fuld

22 Xavier Nady

12 Alfonso Soriano ...You.....You make me happy

Now boys.....just 1 week and we will be seeing each other.  Be good....finish up out in Mesa.....I mean you did not have me there yelling at you, it was one less game I got kicked out of.  Long story. Don't ask.

kisses
xoxoxox

There has been a fight going on in this house.

I am not sure how it started.

Lots of bickering.....dirty looks......

You know what I am talking about?

Long drawn out silences.....

It all started because....

I don't remember.

But I wish i could get over it.

I mean this really irritates me....

I am sure its because he totally took me for granted......

or

I have PMS(which I don't).....something.

Its no way to live

 but

you know

neither one of us

will be the first one to break

we are too stubborn for that

too much alike

I guess

Hmpf!

Friday Follow

Playing along this week......Its called Friday Follow and its a list of blogs who link up and in the end I get new followers for their blog plus find some cool blogs that interest me!

Since this is my # 1 thing to do online(read blogs)....I think this is pretty cool. 

So intro to me:

My name is Bry

You say that like the cheese......

Don't ask

I am a little wild

a little unconventional

I am a city girl.......Living way out in the country(BFE)........seriously just looking for the beach!

Its a long story ........about how I ended up here......with my two barefoot children.....

I am divorced

Mom of 2.

.Princess Gets what she wants who absolutely is the spittin image of her momma(attitude and all)

  and Prince sweetheart(I love you infinity and beyond!- beat that)

We live with a  great guy(that would be J-axe man) who is so not my type(hee hee xoxo) and his floopy haired(cutie) son who gets along great with Prince but not always with Princess

 full time student

One of these days I am going to be Jillian Michaels....promise

 runner

I should say runner who has been on hiatus for a few months and my butt and thighs hate me for it!

What do I write about? Hmmm.....my kids, my family,my friends, photos, trips, running, any thing that pops out pretty much.....

sometimes I can be deep and inspiring

other times not so much and I will just fill out a meme.

But I am pretty consistant and I do attempt to be funny. 

So follow if you like!

Thursday is the day....

At least the day for memes. I have been reading around......blogging being more interesting than facebook to me lately and found some I am totally interested in. 

I like this one.....of course I love pictures.....and telling people about them.....

Pick the 25th picture in the picture file and tell about it.....Okay here is mine....

I have been putting pics of my Pop in a file to keep.....and this just happen to be #25. 

This is about 6 years ago.  R was 3.5 and K looks about 6 months.  I was very honored that both my children got to meet Papa and both remember him fondly.  He died 1.5 years ago and we all talk about him still.  They called him Grand Pa Pop.......I just called him Papa. 

The next meme is Thursday 13....because I have not participating in a few weeks.

13

13 Random Things for the week

1. It is totally storming outside which I believe gives me the excuse to not get dressed and lay around and read in bed. 

2.  Which I would totally do but I have to read Sir Gawain today for my Lit class.....and write about it.  Well maybe Sir Gawain and I will have to go to bed today. 

3. Speaking of bed....everytime I crawl in it cracks me up because of these pillow cases.

Why?

Because I have a man who thinks its funny to give "knuckles".  Its been a joke.  He and his cousin do this constantly........I mean constantly....to drive us girls crazy.  To the point that it is now a joke and we do it to each other jokingly (rolling eyes).  The problem is they have gotten so used to doing it.....they do it to us. 

Scenario:

J: What's for dinner?

Me: Spaghetti

J: *inserts his fist coming towards me*

Me: Turns back to cooking without giving him "knuckles"

J: Thats just wrong girl....

So the pillow cases were brought home from the New Orleans trip.  I saw them in Hustler(don't you judge me) and I new that my man needed these.....so here they are. 

4. I have 23 Fundraisers , 5 field trip permission slips, 19 millky way bars to buy, and 765 baseball practices and games to attend. 

All before May.........

Is school out already?....

5. I have a current event paper do Friday about anything fitness or health related......I wonder what I should choose....cough, spew, hiss.....

6.  I watched Brothers last night.  I say I because the other part of We fell asleep.  Let me just say for the record....if you are military or even a former military wife.  Don't watch.  Its heart wrenching. Worse it just cut me deep.   I could hardly bare it.  I was crying in the first 5 minutes.....and by the end I had text C to see if he was ok.  ( We are still very good friends.) He said: "Why the hell would you watch a movie like that"  I said :" Momentary lapse of judgement" He said: "Go watch a comedy"

Okay....I fell asleep reading.

Don't do it....you have been warned.

7.Speaking of my book.....Its called Sunshine by Robin McKinley....I found it on a book review blog( I am so sorry but I can not remember where or I would link!) I immediately got the book and have been reading it.  If you can get past all the sci-fi bru ha ha......then you might like the Vampire...Human girl love thing.  Isn't that a movie?

8.  Ha....Just kidding.......says the person who has been living in New Moon fog all week.  I heart you....Jacob!  Yes, I have totally turned to the furry side.  There will always be a special place in my heart for Vamps but I love it when he takes his shirt off and the way he speaks......oh forget...I am gone. Kinda like how Anita Blake was when she met Nathaniel.......or one of the other shapesifters.....Anyone? Go read Laurell K. Hamilton.....you will not forget it.

9. I have brought J over to the dark side.  He went to the Chiropractor yesterday.  And Loved It!  Told ya.....Now could someone pay for me to go?

10. This week I have done 45 loads of laundry....which I made the kids help sort, swept, mopped, cooked, dusted........and you can't tell .......not one little bit.

11.  On a side note.....I think I need to do 45 more loads, cook tonight, and clean bathrooms.....oh Oy.....I hear you Sir Gawain.....

12. I am going over to Ky's house for some much needed coffee girl time.  Not long because I have a date with the Gawain guy but it will be nice.  I feel like I have been running crazy this week but accomplished nothing....Maybe its just the week after Spring Break.

13. We are contemplating a dog.  yes you heard me.  We who are just starting to settle into a new routine.....getting adjusted. blah. blah. blah. 

Someone J knows is having Mastiff puppies in April ......eh hem....MASTIFF.  and we are supposed to LOOK at them.  H wants one and its his bday this weekend.  I just don't know.......It will eat us out of house and home.........what to do.  I really want to rescue a Greyhound.....which J is not opposed to.  But I want it for me.....just me.  Oh it can play with the kids....but its mine.  Now the kids are on the Greyhound kick......but secretly I don't want to share. 

Okay....2 memes is good. 

Pour it all out Wednesday

The truth is this.....I have been watching these posts( check it out HERE) and reading and thinking and wondering.  I am having trouble with it.  I want to pour it all out.  I want to talk about many things.  I want to discuss the ups and downs of living with a man a few months after a divorce, or the divorce in general, or how deployment distroyed us, or fights I have with my best friends because I was selfish, or how I miss my grandfather so much it hurts, how I worry about  my children, or how my parents and I have a non speaking non relationship.....etc. etc. etc.........

I want to talk about many things.  Really I do.  But I am struggling with laying it all out for the world to have an inside look to my darkest secrets. In fact sometimes it takes me back a little when people I know in person tell me they read my blog......like it makes me think about every word I type.  This is very out of character for me....because I usually just don't give a rat's ass what people think.....

So for now....I am just thinking, writing in my head.  I will hit Post to blog some day, but for now I am reading all of the participants and hoping that one day I will have the courage to play along.